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Midnight Musings IVYou are the beauty that enlightens my soul;
the eros illuminating my vision.
You are what my heart beats for;
what my mind thought a myth.
You are the reason the flames lick my skin;
why the breeze visits.
You are the reagent of my heart;
the medium to my love.
DNRI want to die
I want to bleed
I want to feel everything inside gushing out
The stomach acid as it eats away at the tissue around it
I want to slice my femoral artery and my jugular at the same time and see which one produces more blood
My fingers are cut again and again
On the edges of these keys
The dust and dead skin is met with a crimson stain
Do you feel it?
Do you feel the tangible agony snapping my ribs and breaking through my sternum?
A rusty culmination of shrapnel tempered with the heat of cold isolation
I'm being crumpled up
A half-assed poetry assignment become the object of a high school student’s entertainment and test of skill as it is hurled through the stale classroom air toward the plastic grey bag-less net
The vertebrae on my neck pop
Embossed on my flesh
As my head lowers
To my core
Making its presence known
There is a sentient darkness inside me
A parasitic amoeba
Latching onto my bones and
Midnight Musings IIII often wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you.
Do you recollect your interactions with me while you lay in bed,
trying to remember how they felt, every touch every kiss we shared?
Do you go to sleep lonely when you spent a day without me?
Am I the last face you see in your mind as you drift off into your sweet dreams?
When you wake up early, before your alarm goes off, with the sun peeking into your room,
do you stretch out your arm and wish I was there, within reach, my head next to yours?
Do you envision kissing me as you rush out the door when you’re running late?
Do you daydream in class and imagine romantic afternoons with me,
at the waterfalls or canoeing along a river or watching the stars in the hayloft?
Am I there, in the back of your mind, when you’re out with your friends,
or when you’re spending time with the other guys who chase you?
Do you long to be next to me when you’re reading a good book, just to know I’m there?
Midnight Musings II3,000 miles away.
You can’t get much farther without leaving the country.
Hundreds of new faces every day.
I only picture yours when I lay my head down.
Dozens of unfamiliar beds prepared just for me.
They aren’t as nice as your small, uncomfortable, college-issued mattress.
Homemade meals every night.
I miss your mac ‘n cheese.
3,000 miles apart and I can still feel your spine-tingling kiss.
Midnight Musings II want to sit on the deck of our house on a beautiful spring afternoon, holding you as we enjoy the sun and the breeze and the smell of fresh air, and sing sweet songs to you.
I want to walk along a beach in our bare feet and pick you up and throw you in the water and then laugh as you chase me down.
I want to lay naked next to you, our bodies entwined, as we catch our breath and finally fall asleep with the light from the sunrise peeking through the blinds.
I want to goof off and laugh as we shop at whole foods, looking forward to the fantastic dinner I’m going to cook for you just because I like to see you smile.
I want to write poetry about you and the warm and vibrant colors you make me feel.
I want you to know, to truly know, in the deepest fiber of your being, that I love you with absolute honesty and all the romantic-yet-dorky feels I can muster.
I want you to know what that means.
That I have found someone who I can hardly believe is real.
That I am in disbelief that you
PhotographI think photographs do capture the soul.
I see the frozen smile, the raised cheeks and succulent lips;
I can see the shine in your emerald isle eyes
underneath the much-cuter-than-you-realize glasses;
I see your gorgeous, black, expressive hair.
I feel the softness of your face;
I can smell the intoxication of desire;
I can see the glimmer in your gaze as you
stare so deep into the blue infinity of my eyes;
I sense the raging fire within your heart
as it tries to escape, the flames dancing and
leaping out of your mouth as your lips meet mine.
I can feel your soul as it shakes with each
explosive pulse of your heart, and the silence that
lasts for a split second during the dicrotic notch;
that silence so short but so deep that you wonder
if you’ve finally died from too much love.
I see it; I feel it;
Captured in a photograph
The Boy Who Wouldnt EatIf you can flutter
I have failed you,
for you were not forged
to be so insubstantial as that
You were writ
to be an epic fable
of endings ignored,
of outlasting your body
through the sheer will
of a writers starving heart
through a broken, bowed
but bravely abiding body
that fights the soul
to comprehend Beauty.
Five AMPre-dawn darkness again, seething, quiet
A monster hugging the city
How heavy, how suffocating it is
The clock has run down on time for dreaming
A void between night and morning
Ready to swallow everything up
A time for old men's reflections
On love, and loss, and sorrow
Oppressive black sky, you eat everything
But the all-night diner
Where lonely old men sit
Drinking coffee at five AM
QuicksandYou trapped me
Dragged me below the surface
And held me there
You chained me
Put brass around my ankles
And left me struggling
You broke me
Beat me with whips made of hate
And hurt me more
You changed me
Made me who you wanted
And killed me inside
You hid me
Stole me away from the light
And made me blind
You crushed me
Blew my dust in the wind
And danced on my grave
surrounding my body
And now I'm twenty feet under
With no chance of being saved
From Your 'Secret' AdmirerHeaven,
this is not a love letter
I will swear to God,
with a halo on my head
and a hole in my heart.
But the fact is I revere you
more than I have any right to.
After all, we are nothing except
who have awkward conversations.
So why is it that every time the line
falls silent I panic, worrying that your shadow
will make my efforts nothing but a distant memory,
when every word you speak strongly marks my mind?
Simple: I fear having something to lose
and losing the nothing I have. You are
treasure to me, and this note becomes my confession.
Sincerely- I typed this, but I'm sure you'll recognize the handwriting.
Death, Judgment, RebirthLast Time in the ICU
Shadow rats, beady red eyes focused hungrily
Stay still too long and they’ll swarm
Sharp little teeth rending flesh
They know the sick and weak
They can wait
Tenth floor ICU, down with the disease again
He’s resting quietly, the nurse says
She looks like a huge black rat
Does she know what’s happening?
Closing the door
She walks away
Sweet childhood dreams are interrupted
Rats gnawing away at the edges
Toothy little kisses all over
Cleaning, cleansing scurry
Down to the bone
Sentenced to Live
Firelight, poker-faced patchwork man reading aloud
An old but vaguely familiar tome, his tone is somber
Was I one of the wicked? Weren’t we all?
Who can say that they were good?
Sentenced to live yet another life
I cry; I’ve had enough living
I want to sleep forever, leave my shell behind
To crumble to dust, useless, I won’t need it
Every door opens to the same world
Is this hell, then? The onl
give me a challenge, give me you.i have grown
the blood in my veins
have become more
than plasma, and i
am now trapped
within my own hollowed-out
this haze of
has to be transitory--
i can't let it be anything
The partyFlashing lights
Smoke all around
About to pass out
My head starts to hurt
I can't take this anymore
So without saying anything
I find the exit
And escape that place
"How can someone have fun in there?"
are winter fire
that warms my body,
that stokes my heart.
is velvet gloss
through my hair,
under my shirt.
is silk screen
beneath my fingertips,
between my lips.
moves like ocean water,
washes over me,
floods every inch of me.
clinging to your cheeks,
puddling the pillow,
caught inside my kiss.
palm to palm with mine,
soft and breathy in my ear,
loud and gasping
against my mouth.
pressing against mine,
rising to meet me,
applauding in rhythm.
grasping at my shoulders,
sliding down my chest,
clinging to my skin.
squeezing me tightly.
arching up to me,
tilting back your chin,
pressing us so close.
undulating in excitement,
trembling in joy,
shivering with delight.
echoing inside my head,
calling out to the universe,
telling me everything.
tender and delicate,
DistemperOh, did you scream?
No, ninety ravens
released from the rack of my ribs
in a ravage of wings
have disquieted the cat.
Oh, an aspirin for my mind
(lay your head in my hand
drink me down, feather-drown)
thin its belly-close blood
uphold the constitution
of my hollow-cast heart.
[Fire the dragon
the fairy waters her way
across the winter]
So stout, so ale,
hold fast, touch bone
Oh, you would rather die
than bring home bad meat.
How Did This Happen?How does happiness turn into loneliness?
The beautiful glow of her smile is lost,
bound in steel wire and tortured in the
same cold darkness that now hides her heart.
How does passion become apathy?
Once a kiss that stole from the lungs
and left the lips wet and wanting more;
now a kiss from a mouth dry and lips chapped,
breathing toxin - a kiss of death.
How does commitment fall silent?
The foundation always holds strong
through the trials of weather and time,
but housing fear and pain has
collapsed the walls that surrounded us.
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More